Week 3 Recap: Fear and Loathing in First Place

Katie Nolan: Welcome to the column. Ryan stuffed a chatbot in his skull, which is why you are getting sentences and not just the word spike. I will translate. He will wander. I will cut him off.

Fear and Loathing in First Place

Kevin MaloneyAdam has now 8 a$s158.4VSRay FifieldSweet baby Rays biitch sauce!181.6

Ray now leads the all-time series 5-3 after 8 meetings.

Katie Nolan: Ray Fifield, 181.6, over Kevin Maloney, 158.4. That is the high score two weeks in a row. Week 2 was 222.3. The ten dollars has a roommate. Ray is 3-0 and alone in first, with 548.2 points. Jaxon Smith-Njigba put up 35.4, Jeremiyah Love 27.2, Matthew Golden 21.0. Josh Allen was questionable and still scored 18.5. The Patriots defense went negative and Ray did not need them. Kevin had Jahmyr Gibbs at 46.4 and lost anyway. Tetairoa McMillan scored 3.7. The Eagles defense and the Seahawks coach both went minus. Kevin is 2-1 and third, because Zane is also undefeated and Kevin's points cannot buy a win he already lost. Ray now leads the series 5-3 after 8 meetings.

Jason DodgeDodge Balls153.5VSZane MitchellFellowship of the Ring174.4

Zane now leads the all-time series 7-2 after 9 meetings.

Katie Nolan: Zane Mitchell 174.4, Jason Dodge 153.5. Zane is3-0 and second. The Jaguars defense scored 26.0, Harrison Mevis scored 20.0, Trevor Lawrence scored 25.8, and Ja'Marr Chase scored 24.8. Terrance Ferguson was doubtful and finished at 1.9, which is the only quiet thing on that roster. Jason is 2-1 and fourth. Jonathan Taylor scored 15.0 of a 25.9 projection, and the Bengals coach scored minus 5. Zane now leads the series 7-2 after 9 meetings. Jason brought a trophy case. Zane brought a defense that outscored most flexes.

Dustin MillsLeft for Dead in...East County?155.1VSAdam ValdezPray The Ray Away!177.6

The all-time series is tied 4-4 after 8 meetings.

Katie Nolan: Stop. Dustin Mills is 0-3. Last place. Not on points. On the only column that matters. He scored 155.1 and lost to Adam Valdez at 177.6. Joe Burrow had 30.1, James Cook had 26.4, Harold Fannin Jr. had 24.1, and the week still ended in the basement. Jadarian Price scored 3.5. Jalen Coker was questionable and scored 3.8. Adam is 1-2 and sixth, the last playoff spot, because Bijan Robinson scored 42.6 and points for still break ties. The series is tied 4-4 after 8 meetings. Dustin's lineup had a pulse. His record does not.

Derrick MontyTim's Daddy94.8VSTommy NewtonTwo Montys One Kupp147.3

Derrick still leads the all-time series 15-4 after 19 meetings.

Katie Nolan: Derrick Monty scored 94.8. Tommy Newton scored 147.3. That is a 52.5 hole. Derrick opened the draft with skill players and then took three quarterbacks: Drake Maye at pick 69, Jaxson Dart, and Brock Purdy. Purdy is on Tim's roster and just scored 39.8. Maye scored 3.8. De'Von Achane is on IR at 2.5 of a 23.7 projection. Justin Jefferson was questionable and scored 5.2. Breece Hall was questionable. The 49ers defense scored minus 1. The Rams coach scored minus 5. The injuries pummeled the lineup the quarterbacks were supposed to save. Derrick is 1-2 and ninth, out of the top 6. Tommy is 1-2 and fifth, because a pile of points for still counts even when Jalen Hurts only gives you 12.6. Henry, Kittle, and McCaffrey did the rest. Derrick still leads the all-time series 15-4 after 19 meetings, which is the only healthy thing he has left.

Timothy TurnerThe Terrible Twos141.7VSAaron StoneJurassic Barkley:Amon a Rampage165.0

Aaron now leads the all-time series 7-5 after 12 meetings.

Katie Nolan: That is Aaron Stone. Fantasy owner. Not Aaron Hernandez. There was no Super Bowl shower in this league. Sit down. Aaron beat Timothy Turner 165.0 to 141.7. Aaron is 1-2 and eighth. Tim is 1-2 and seventh, because that Purdy game and a better points total still outrank Aaron. Aaron now leads the series 7-5after 12 meetings. Lamar Jackson scored 25.9, Javonte Williams 23.1, Chuba Hubbard 19.8, and the Texans defense 16.0. Saquon Barkley at 12.8 and Amon-Ra St. Brown at 11.9 were the quiet parts. Tim had Travis Etienne ruled out and still was not the problem. The problem was Gronk. I am ending that problem.

2026 standings through Week 3

#	Owner	Rec	PF	PA
1	Ray Fifield	3-0	548.2	429.2
2	Zane Mitchell	3-0	438.7	392.0
3	Kevin Maloney	2-1	517.3	504.8
4	Jason Dodge	2-1	505.8	442.9
5	Tommy Newton	1-2	474.0	516.6
6	Adam Valdez	1-2	441.6	460.0
7	Timothy Turner	1-2	417.6	462.6
8	Aaron Stone	1-2	414.3	412.4
9	Derrick Monty	1-2	364.0	467.4
10	Dustin Mills	0-3	413.1	446.8

Katie Nolan: Top 6 make the playoffs. Ray and Zane are 3-0. Kevin and Jason are2-1. Tommy and Adam are the other 1-2 teams still inside the cut. Tim, Aaron, and Derrick are 1-2 and outside it. Dustin is 0-3, last, even with more points than Derrick. The crayon version was shorter. This one is the one that counts.